I’ve spent a few months now talking about how to think about social media and communication, with a mind toward exploring how we can communicate better. But I’ve been remiss. I’ve been missing something important that I wasn’t ready to talk about yet, which is what “Better” actually means to me. Depending on your goals, it’s going to mean different things, but in communication, I think there are some things that are universally desirable, and opportunities that social media creates for everyone. These are some of them.
Communicating Better Doesn’t Mean Getting What You Want
I always worry when I think about strategies to communicate with people that there’s a concern about manipulating the. Later on, when I get into things like the power of apologies, the ethical concerns will come to the fore. Ultimately though, good communication isn’t saying the right things to get what you want. Communication is about building trust, and the second people suss out that’s what you’re up to (and they will, you’re smart enough to do it, so are other people), they stop trusting you. That also means you don’t get what you want, by the by. So “Better” isn’t synonymous with “Getting what you want.” When I think of communicating better, this is what I think of.
1. Building Stronger Relationships
When we think about the power of gratitude or apology, or about what people and organizations ought to do, what we really want is for them to take the time to develop strong relationships with us. Good communication, whether it’s between businesses, colleagues, or the dialogue between teacher and student, involves establishing and building trust. The nature of those relationships will depend on your structure and goals, but the desire to have stronger ones is essential. I work for a faculty association, so our focus is on developing stronger relationships with and between our members, the people we represent. We’re also interested in developing our relationship with other associations, the university administration and staff association, and students, the people that we ultimately work for. Having strong relationships makes it easier for us to pull together when we need to, and helps us learn how best to serve the people we’re responsible to.
2. Extending Your Network
Good communication, especially online, doesn’t just build a set of strong relationships, it extends your network of weaker ones. Social media does this exceptionally. We can have all the debates we want about how many people on our Facebook friends list are really friends, or what Twitter followers or LinkedIn connections really mean, but when you get down to it, they’re connections you didn’t have before. They’re actual people who are interested in listening to you at some level. Whether you need to think aloud or fund a project, these weak connections can be incredibly valuable, and they can be cultivated into stronger connections. The wider your network, the more people you can potentially lean on and, more importantly, listen to.
3. Learning From Your Audience
Communication is a two way street. That’s nothing new. Nonetheless, it’s something we seem to need to be reminded of continually. Good communication relies as much on listening as it does on speaking. Forget that. Good communication relies on listening more. Your audience, your stakeholders, your students, they have things to teach you. As an entertainer, I learn to listen to my audience and pick up on what they want to see. With the faculty association it’s intensely important, because we directly represent our members concerns every day. Social media makes it easier to listen by giving people a comfortable place to speak, one that doesn’t put a lot of pressure on them. It also lets you listen to them in real life and pick up on cues from that, rather than just when they decide to talk with you.
Listening and building relationships is what helps you get at people, rather than demographics, and it’s never been easier to do that on a large scale than it is right now. these principles are what I think of when I think of best practices for communications strategy, from everyday interactions to top level strategy sessions. What kinds of things will strengthen our relationships? How can we extend and expand our network to lay the foundation for further relationships? What is our audience trying to teach us, and how can we work with that? I ask a lot of questions, but I think they’re questions worth asking.
Keith
13 Mar 2013I agree. With social media it is easy to broadcast but for real communication we must engage and to do that we must first listen. Over the years I’ve learned a lot from my blogs but sadly not through listening but through looking at the google analytics to what questions and keywords my audience was searching for.
Jim
13 Mar 2013You’re absolutely right, Keith. Analytics and keywords are an amazing tool for bloggers, and it’s an area that I’m admittedly weaker in than I’d like to be, but I’m learning. I do a lot of my listening on Twitter, by following and making lists of people who are interested in my content. For work, that’s faculty members and faculty associations, for gaming, that’s gamers, designers, and podcasters. I can take my cues from their interests, and Twitter gives me the chance to talk with them and develop a relationship.
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